Categories
Poetry

The Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues

Based on a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

We, all “poets”, all differently abled
Arrive to find the toilet door not labelled
Trying to find words that rhyme with ‘falafel’
And fittingly all I can think of is ‘offal’
I got the Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues

Through examples we study form and rhyme and meter
An overabundance of assonance finishes off poor Peter
The kennings do for Jennings, they’re a real poet-killer
And Wendy says the wordplay is just wanton word-count filler
I got the Peak District Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues

“Do I need rhymes, asks Jeremy, “at the end of every stanza?”
(His rhymes have, until now, been as subtle as a Panzer)
I feel the table cringe as Celia struggles with personification
Anthropomorphism makes Belinda’s Bichon Frisé roll its eyes in consternation
I got the Council Subsidised Peak District Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues

“Repetition, repetition, repetition is the way to success here!”
Says Gertrude, whose chattering teeth have their own onomatopoeia 
I’m struggling with my syllable count not to finish off my haiku
I want to leave now, go to the pub, find someone to cry to
I got the Facebook Group Organised Council Subsidised Peak District Rural Library Amateur Poetry Workshop Blues

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